Limiting Beliefs and Creating a Life that Sparks Joy

Spread the love

I hadn’t even heard of the term or concept of limiting beliefs until I started listening to Jonathan and Brad on the ChooseFI podcast. This podcast has allowed me to reflect and recognize my own barriers and limiting beliefs. I have done some things in my life that I am very proud of, such as earning my master’s degree. But, while I am motivated and inspired, I do have limiting beliefs. If you know me, you know that I am all about that glass being half full. I know…groan! But seriously, let’s talk about limiting beliefs and creating a life that sparks joy.
When I am excited about a project I can plan it all out and visualize it the whole way through. But if I have to pause or come back to it, I lose focus. That motivation isn’t where I left it. Then, a project that seemed awesome at the time seems like a massive, daunting task because I’m not in the same headspace that I was in when I first thought of it. All of my neurons were once firing and now, crickets. I forget what my “mission” or purpose behind doing it was in the first place. Sometimes I understand where I was going with the idea but the passion has since dissipated. I lost my unique, driving perspective on the subject. It’s as if I try to start it back up, I won’t do my “first self” justice. How silly is that?! As a result, I’ve been jotting down a lot of notes on my perspective lately when it comes to my ideas.

It’s the holiday season and I’ve been trying to ask myself “what would my ideal day of retirement look like?” I ask myself this because I want to identify what activities give me the greatest happiness. Then, I can make an effort to do those things on my days off. I started out spending lots of time with family at Christmas and taking my little niece on a hike on Christmas eve. Yet, for the past few days as we near the end of December I’ve sort of felt like a bump on my couch. I’ve been mindlessly reading on the internet. Don’t get me wrong. Last night we went to Kev’s parents house and cooked dinner together and watched a movie. But then I get home and I don’t know where to start or what to do with myself. So I default into the habit of sitting on the couch reading stuff online. On my iPhone even! Oh Sadie, why you gotta be so lazy not to even get the laptop out. I’ve been hitting a block when it come to “what exactly do I want to work on right now” and “do I have time to get a good chunk done” on said project at that time.

I want to think back to the topic of retirement. I spend a lot of time thinking about finances and how to get to early retirement. Yet as I continue reading books and listening to podcasts I reflect on how I shouldn’t wait until retirement to live my dream life! This was actually a huge realization for me. I tend to lean more on the “financial independence” and freedom side of FIRE. I’m not as interested in the retiring early aspect, along with many others. But in truth, this was kind of a full-stop moment for me because I instantly became concerned that I would eventually get to retirement only to discover that if I didn’t already incorporate these things in my life that I had been waiting for (more reading, morning walks in the sun, being active outdoors, traveling, gardening, creating healthy recipes, painting, jogging, mountain biking and the list goes on…) then why did I think I was about to start when I get to retirement? Even if I did, what the heck was I waiting for?! Now I can’t stand when people say “oh when I retire I’ll have more time to go and do this, or that. What’s stopping you now?! Holy cow I could go on with this forever.

I’ll get into the deeper psychology of it in a later post, but I have had an unhealthy habit of sabotaging myself, and somehow I can’t let myself have that I want. It’s been like this for years, me limiting myself. I want to go hiking or mountain biking without being so nervous about wildlife (the bears or cougars that will indeed eat me if they catch a glimpse of me). The inability to discipline myself when it comes to my undying craving for Barbara’s Cheese Puffs. Why sabotage myself, when I have been losing weight after eating well and exercising. Like what for?! What am I doing?! But seriously, bears….

I need to let myself believe that I am worthy of these things. I guess the first step is to acknowledge the existence of the issue. This has been an ongoing struggle and very much why I want to document it. Hopefully this will help others as I overcome my own personal issues or “limiting beliefs” as I now know them. I aim to live my best life by living with intention. I want to be able to acknowledge my fears, barriers, excuses so I can call myself out on them. I’m recording my intentions and goals so I can remind myself that this IS me, this isn’t just some pretend me that has her shit together, ACTUAL ME wrote this.

Moving right along… I read this quote in a book I read last night. You know the one, second best seller of 2018, “Girl, wash your face” by Rachel Hollis. Anyway the quote is this: “Your dream is worth fighting for, and while you’re not in control of what life throws at you, you’re in control of the fight”. Gosh that resonates with me. I’m a self-proclaimed perfectionist who majorly suffers from analysis by paralysis. I haven’t started or committed to this blog (even though I dreamed of doing it for the last five months. Why? Simply because I’m worried I’m going to do it wrong; I’m afraid of messing it all up! I’ve heard over and over. “just start”… well here it goes… I don’t even know if I’ve identified my niche yet! (I actually wrote this 7 months before I launched a proper blog with my own domain!)

I want to blog about my goals and intentions regarding financial independence. Even more so I want to blog about living intentionally, in general. But what I’m truly passionate about is designing your dream life, and executing on it for the long haul. Dream big and create your best life, all while kicking ass and taking care of yourself.
I want to track my journey of:

living a positive life

eating nutritious, colourful foods

living within my means

embracing nature and an active lifestyle

developing go-to recipes

teaching myself to be a photographer

being a good significant other- taking care of my body (not a priority growing up); and

anything else that I do intentionally to improve my life.

While I have a real passion for gaining financial independence, it’s all about the freedoms you gain to live the life you’ve always dreamed. Which is exactly where the intentional living comes into play. This blog will help me set goals to reflect upon, so that I can see how far I’ve come. As this is my FIRST blog post (published pre-blog in December, 2018). It’s important for me to provoke thoughtful, deep conversations. I do this by reflecting and sharing my thoughts after reading something interesting or having a good conversations with a mentor.

Another book shout-out coming up! After reading “When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi, I thought to myself, “what is it that I’m waiting for?” “What am I not free to do now?” Especially if life isn’t just about buying fancy toys or dream lake cabins, or all the books I could possibly want! Wait, what?!! Now all joking aside, reading this book resulted in major knots in my stomach as I analyzed my own life. I created a list of all the things that are important to me and that I feel I need or want in my life. My current life and in retirement…anything at all. I think it was an important exercise. I think everyone should consider what their dream life looks like. How else will they live it?

Growing up I was always fearful of death, and being hurt. Like I have always worried that something incredibly tragic will happen. After writing the following list and reviewing it I actually felt like I was in control. If I could make these things a part of my life, I would die knowing that I didn’t waste any time, and that I never missed out. The list not only includes things that enrich my life, but also my goals, and my dream retirement job.

Here’s What I commit to do, to overcome limiting beliefs and create a life for me that sparks joy.

What is meaningful in your life that you want to spend your time doing?

  • being close with the people I love: family, friends (social connection);
  • spending time with hubby (feeling connected and being physically close);
  • experiencing or surrounding myself with incredible colour, design, fresh flavour, smells (flowers, campfire) artwork, food, travel, architecture, and celebrating seasons;
  • reading as a way to learn, gaining insight and experiences of others, remaining open-minded;
  • being outside, playing with dirt (gardening), smelling the fresh air, experiencing sounds of nature, being active outside by means of doing yard work, hiking, biking, walking and running, while embracing the seasons and weather (heat, snow)
  • waking up naturally with no alarm,  practicing self-care and never feeling rushed. To go with this, taking care of myself and going to bed at a decent time so that I want to wake up at 7-8 am rather than 10 am;
  • listening to upbeat music and dancing (alone while doing chores around the house- ’cause it makes me smile and laugh);
  • seeing more of the world and experiencing other regular ways of life, or societal norms (challenge my assumptions, discover meaning, traditions, cultures and history);
  • Showing gratitude and empowering others to make their strong desires a priority (having deep personal conversations about meaningful or impactful topics)(also beneficial from social aspect);
  • making something from its parts: baking (incl. bread), cooking, painting, drawing, gardening, photography (creativity);
  • live with intention, everything you do is purposeful and because you choose to do so; things don’t just happen to you, you make what you can of the situation to form your life around you and don’t let time pass you by, it is precious and it is all you have.

The little things:

  • sleeping in freshly washed bedding;
  • putting on lotion after a shower;
  • bubble baths;
  • walking in bare feet;
  • walking in general;
  • stretching when I have sore muscles;
  • embracing seasonal changes;
  • sitting in the sun;
  • reading;
  • fresh air;
  • candlelight;
  • a clean and tidy space, free of clutter.

Attitude-oriented Goals:

  • don’t focus on the negativity brought by others’;
  • be appreciative for everything that I have;
  • feel my emotions and be okay with them;
  • don’t dwell on the past;
  • do things that will better my future.

Whom and what do I want to be?

Someone who:

  • exercises regularly as part of an active lifestyle (aiming for outdoor activity) ans ends many days physically tired and feeling accomplished from exercising;
  • is financially responsible but doesn’t let it rule my life;
  • indulges in delicious, rich, flavourful, colourful, nourishing foods: savoury, peppers, cilantro, avocado toast, nuts, olives, balsamic reduction, frech bread & butter, pickles, beets, asparagus, cheese, fall spices, coconut, walnuts, berries, cherries, chocolate,  smoothies, fruit, wine, coffee, and tea;
  • isn’t afraid, or rather, doesn’t let her fears and anxiety keep her from experiencing beauty and nature;
  • is without limiting beliefs, or that can acknowledge and overcome them;
  • is appreciative for everything I have;
  • doesn’t put myself in a position where I regret working too much;
  • is future and goal oriented yet takes the time to be int he present;
  • is sentimental and compassionate, who listens;
  • is open-minded and gives people the benefit of the doubt;
  • figures out what makes her happy and then does those things.

What are my retirement dream jobs? (Things I’d like to learn or do where the benefit of doing it outweighs the pay I receive).

  • speak to young people about using money as a tool to live your dream life filled with meaning. Start up conversations with young people around me about saving money, the power of compound interest and investing, and that working 9-5 at a corporate job is not the only path;
  • helping young people learn to feel self-worth;
  • inspire people to live intentionally;
  • travel blogger/photographer.

I challenge you to write your own list. It doesn’t have to be as deep as mine for your first time. But I encourage you to try. It made me feel vulnerable, and then powerful. It’s actually incredibly empowering to think about what my dreams are, my ACTUAL dreams. What do I love about life most? What will I do when I have all the time in the world? Write the list. Take action. Do the things. Love your life.